I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
how drunk are you?
Several
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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