I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
