i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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