3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
