I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
