i barfeds in our rink
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
