She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
