who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
