I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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