Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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