Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize