What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
my sisters under your porch take her home
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
