Pregnant stripper...not hot.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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