you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
