I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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