Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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