He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
