Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
