I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
