Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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