Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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