just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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