Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
