At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
