So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
