I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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