Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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