if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
