super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
