Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
