we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
