If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
