i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
