Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
