I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
