don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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