Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
