it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
