it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
