I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
