Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Randomize
