well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
