I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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