cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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