..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you traded sex for a burrito?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
