yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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