I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
