Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
