there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i am craving dick and cupcakes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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