he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
